Aspas opens up: “I just want to go back to being myself”

At perhaps the toughest moment of his career since rising to stardom in the VALORANT esports scene, Erick "aspas" Santos opened up in an exclusive interview with THESPIKE Brazil after that admitting that he doesn't find himself in a good place at the moment.

The MIBR Duelist explained that he has found himself affected by problems outside the server, and that the situation spiraled out of his control to the point where he felt like he had become a different person altogether.

I think I lost a lot of my personality this year and tried to control things that were out of my control.

Aspas Opens Up

It's no secret that aspas had to undergo a delicate surgery towards the very end of 2025 after doctors found a benign tumor connected to his heart. In order to remove the tumor fully, aspas disclosed he should have had a second surgery in April, though he ended up opting to postpone it instead.

I also can’t say that the surgery I had didn’t affect me. I needed to undergo a second surgery in April to remove the tumor, but I spoke with my doctor and decided to postpone it because I didn’t want to hurt the team. But I believe that was also something that was affecting me. In the end, there are many factors, and everyone carries a share of the blame for us being in the situation we’re in right now. I’ve already apologized to my team as well and, honestly, at this moment, I just want to go back to being myself.

Getting back to feeling like oneself is not always an easy feat. In the end, feeling off can easily affect several aspects of your day-to-day life, and aspas wanted to show his appreciation for anyone who has supported him both in the good and the bad.

I think there came a point where I was even worrying about the way I breathed and how the people around me would react to it. And that has nothing to do with outside comments. Outside comments don’t affect me. But I was very worried about how it could affect my team, and I ended up losing myself along the way. So now, all I can say is: thank you very much to my fans and to the people who genuinely like me. I know this has been a very difficult time, and I’m truly very frustrated by it. This year has definitely been a really hard year, and that frustrates me a lot. I’ve tried many things throughout the year, but it’s been complicated.

On the subject of his recent struggles, aspas explained why he usually avoids doing interviews immediately after negative results that generate stress. He made it clear that he prefers staying silent publicly rather than saying something “in the heat of the moment” that could create internal friction.

One thing I always do is take some time to reflect and understand where I was going wrong. To truly understand the situation and what was happening. I also understand that many people don’t realize that I will always prefer to breathe and give things some time so I can understand what’s really happening, instead of reacting in a stressful moment and ending up saying something I didn’t even want to say. Because when you’re under stress, you end up saying whatever comes to mind without thinking. This phase will pass, and I’ll do my best for us to win.

Looking Ahead: A Message to Everyone

As far as the team as a whole is concerned, aspas believes that MIBR need to change their compositions first and foremost. On a more personal note, the Brazilian star apologized for the performances he has shown throughout the year and promised that he will “give his all” to recover and also try to connect more with the public, especially through livestreams.

I really don’t care about this short time window. I think our compositions need to change if we want to win, and that’s my view. There are some other things we also need to change, but that’s one of the main ones. So I want to leave this message for my fans, for my team, for MIBR as an organization, and especially for my wife. I apologize for the aspas people have seen this year. That’s going to change. I’ll give it my all, and I’m sure my team will too. We’re making changes and trying to solve the problem. And there’s another thing: I know you miss me, and I know I’ve fallen short in that regard. And it’s not just now, not only this year. I also promise that I’ll do my best to show up more.

You can find the complete video interview with aspas in the original Portuguese below:

For the first time in his career, aspas did not get to participate in a single Masters event for the season. Aspas is yet to win a title with MIBR after suffering early eliminations from both VALORANT Champions Tour 2026 - Americas Kickoff and VALORANT Champions Tour 2026 - Americas Stage 1 so far this year. Now, aspas and the rest of the MIBR squad will return to the server once more this Wednesday, May 27, to take on KRÜ Esports at the EWC - Esports World Cup 2026: Americas Qualifier.

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